A new study reports that men whose parents divorced before they were 18 are two to three times as likely to seriously consider taking their own lives as men whose parents were not divorced by that age. Women whose parents divorced by age 18 were not affected as significantly. They, too, thought about suicide more often than other women, but the thoughts were explained by other distressing experiences they’d had, like childhood abuse.
Divorce might be expected to have a bigger overall impact on daughters than on sons, since in general women tend to be more liable than men to depression and suicidal thoughts. But the findings were not a surprise to the study’s lead author, Dr. Esme Fuller-Thomson, a professor of family and community medicine at the University of Toronto.
She noted that in most cases of divorce, at least until recently, mothers obtained custody(监护权) of the children, and the lack of regular contact with a father may take a particular emotional and developmental toll on sons. "The loss of a male role model for the boys may seriously impact their well-being," she said. "Other research has indicated a positive father figure is very important for young men and boys, to develop their gender identity and learn ways to regulate their emotions and enhance their mental health." Dr. Fuller-Thomson emphasized that serious thoughts of suicide affect only a minority, and that a vast majority of children of divorce do fine.
Boys may also be more likely to keep silent and internalize their grief, whereas girls are more likely to "talk it out," she said. Men, in general, are reluctant to reach out for help, said Dana Alonzo, who has done similar studies. They are also more prone to drug abuse, which is linked with suicidal feelings.
"They’re socialized to be strong, not to show weakness, not to show their feelings," she said. "If they’re living in a home just being raised by a morn, who encourages more expression of emotions and closeness, that sort of contradicts the message they’re getting from society as a whole, that ’you should be able to handle this on your own. ’\
To learn to regulate emotions and enhance mental health, it is important for boys to ______.