There was a time in my life when beauty meant something special to me.
After breakfast one Saturday morning in the orphanage(孤儿院), when I was a little boy, I saw the house parent chasing the beautiful butterflies who lived by the hundreds in the bushes around the orphanage.
I carefully watched as he caught these beautiful creatures, one after the other, and then took them from the net and then stuck straight pins through their head and wings, pinning them onto a heavy cardboard sheet.
How cruel it was to kill something of such beauty. I had walked many times out into the bushes, all by myself, just so the butterflies could land on my head, face and hands so I could look at them up close.
When the telephone rang the house parent laid the large cardboard paper down on the back step and went inside to answer the phone. I walked up to the cardboard and looked at the one butterfly that he had just pinned to the large paper. It was still moving about so I reached down and touched it on the wing causing one of the pins to fall out. It started flying around and around trying to get away hut it was still pinned by the one wing with the other straight pin. Finally its wing broke off and the butterfly fell to the ground and just quivered.
The house parent came back and started yelling at me. I told him that I did not do anything but he did not believe me. He picked up the cardboard paper and started hitting me on the top of the head. There were all kinds of butterfly pieces going everywhere. He threw the cardboard down on the ground and told me to pick it up and put it in the garbage can and then he left.
I sat there in the dirt, trying to fit all the butterfly pieces back together so I could bury them whole, but it was too hard to do. So I prayed for them and then I put them in an old shoe box and I buried them near the blackberry bushes.
Every year when the butterflies would return to the orphanage and try to land on me I would try and drive them away because they did not know that the orphanage was a bad place to live and a very bad place to die. It can be inferred from the passage that the boy feels life in the orphanage is ______.