When someone has deeply hurt you, it can be extremely difficult to let go of your anger．But forgiveness is possible — and it can be surprisingly helpful to your physical and mental health．Indeed, research has shown that people who forgive report more energy, better appetite (胃口) and better sleep patterns．'People who forgive show less anger and more hopefulness,' says Dr．Frederic Luskin, who wrote the book Forgive for Good．'So it can help save on the wear and tear on our system and allow people to feel more energetic.'
So when someone has hurt you, calm yourself first．Take a couple of breaths and think of something that gives you pleasure: a beautiful scene in nature, someone you love．Don't wait for an apology．'Many times the person who hurt you may never think of apologizing,' says Dr．Luskin．'They may have wanted to hurt you or they just don't see things the same way．So if you wait for people to apologize, you could be waiting a very long time.' Keep in mind that forgiveness does not necessarily mean accepting the action of the person who upset you．Mentally going over your hurt gives power to the person who brought you pain．Instead, learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness around you．Finally, try to see things from the other person's perspective (视角)．You may realize that he or she was acting out of ignorance (无知), fear— even love．To gain perspective, you may want to write a letter to yourself from that person's point of view.
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