Most young boys are trained to believe that men should be strong, tough, cool, and detached. Thus, they learn early to hide vulnerable emotions such as love, joy, and sadness because they believe that such feelings are feminine and imply weakness. Over time, some men become strangers to their own emotional lives. It seems that men with traditional views of masculinity are more likely to suppress outward emotions and to fear emotions, supposedly because such feelings may lead to a loss of composure (镇定). Keep in mind, however, that this view is challenged by some researchers. As with many gender gaps, differences in emotionality tend to be small, inconsistent, and dependent on the situation. For instance, Robertson and colleagues found that males who were more traditionally masculine were more emotionally expressive in a structured exercise than when they were simply asked to talk about their emotions.
Males’ difficulty with “tender” emotions has serious consequences. First, suppressed emotions can contribute to stress-related disorders. And worse, men are less likely than women to seek help from health professionals. Second, men’s emotional inexpressiveness can cause problems in their relationships with partners and children. For example, men who endorse traditional masculine norms report lower relationship satisfaction, as do their female partners. Further, children whose fathers are warm, loving, and accepting toward them have higher self-esteem and lower rates of aggression and behavior problems. On a positive note, fathers are increasingly involving themselves with their children. And 30 percent of fathers report that they take equal or greater responsibility for their children than their working wives do.
One emotion males are allowed to express is anger. Sometimes this anger translates into physical aggression or violence. Men commit nearly 90 percent of violent crimes in the United States and almost all ual assaults. Some men believe that if they expressed their emotions openly they might ()